It’s My Blog and I Can Cry If I Want To

This is a post completely straying away from the norm.   So, I hope you don’t mind the interruption, but bare with me through the sniffles.

You may view me as a wimpy mom, but I feel compelled to speak on it.  My husband don’t get my emotions, so he’s not a good listener.  I’m actually writing about my youngest son, Amir.  I’ll take you through a quick journey, but his life was one carved out to be a chef.

      

By the time he was 7 and making it known I geared him for that.  Well, culinary school was  a real awakening…. OMG the cost was outrageous.. pretty grim, so he decided to join the military.  The Air Force- which is great – yes he’s doing something positive with his life.. and I’m truly proud of him..but the fact of the matter is.. I miss him..sometimes I find myself just looking at his pictures wondering what’s he doing.  He’s been overseas for months and it’s just been hard at times to deal with.. so I’m taking this moment to reflect my feelings by writing about it.  Attending his graduation was an experience I’ll never forget.. seeing all those young men transformed into strong, discipline soldiers devoting their lives for our country gave me chills because knowing my son doesn’t belong to me anymore, but to the U.S Government..is very hard to take.

Being able to visit him for his birthday made me more happy than him.

amir10       

His first visit home was a true blessing just having him around the house and cooking all his favorite meals..but the time went so fast.. and that’s when he told me he’s heading out of the country on deployment..  Oh God..Is all I remember saying.. So off he went…  Boarding a plane to another side of the world – leaving the familiar land of U.S.  As mother all I can do is pray..

      

Everyday wondering what’s he seeing, what’s he doing, is he eating ok (because you know only we mothers know how to feed our children.. chuckles..)…

             

Modern technology has made it a bit easier by being able to instant message and Facetime from time to time.  I won’t linger too much about this .. but I just needed to vent a bit.  So while waiting patiently for him to board the plane to return home, images of him will always linger in my mind while my heart will always be missing him.

I love you son,

22 thoughts on “It’s My Blog and I Can Cry If I Want To

  1. Your son is sacrificing a lot so the rest of us can feel safe. As a mother I feel your pain. I couldn’t imagine what it would feel like for my children to be so far away and not be able to see them regularly. Sending you a warm hug.

  2. Kim, Amir is like a son of mine and I share your every tear. Now knowing he is back in the states and soon to be home back in your arms,
    I can now share your joy.Thank you God!… for watching over Amir.

  3. Thanks for the sensible critique. Me & my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a grab a book from our local library but I think I learned more clear from this post. I’m very glad to see such great information being shared freely out there.

  4. Kim, you know I share your emotions. This was such a touching moment for you so thank you for sharing it. I oh so remember the many helping hands in those young photos (how cute, @ Linda, well said!

  5. Hey there Sweetie! I understand your emotions and it’s healthy for you to vent, express and share your feelings. We are Moms, that’s our job. 🙂 So glad to hear he is back in the states. Your love for him is so touching, and of course he’s your baby, always will be. We are all proud of him, but a mothers proud love can’t be compared. So cry Happy tears, you have created a young healthy intelligent man to challenge the world! And a Cutie-pie to boot!! Now, chuckle at your touchy-feely teary eyed mom-self and go bake his favorite cake, tears, snot and all! Don’t forget to lick the bowl! Love you girly-girl!! 🙂

  6. Husbands. They mean well, but they’re not always the best listeners. Even most of those who are able to listen just kind of fumble with how to respond. Men are not the natural nurturers that we women are. To watch Ramon try to comfort me is almost painful at times. He’s doing his best, but his best just sometimes isn’t enough to lift me up where I need to be. So go on and vent, girl! We’re out here with attentive ears/eyes and open hearts!

    I can’t even begin to imagine what you’re feeling. I’m sure it’s a DQ swirl of emotions ranging from pride to sadness to pleasure in knowing he’s learning how to be a man to sheer agony in not knowing exactly what’s going on with him half a world away. Thank the good Lord above for IM’s and other technology that allows you to see his little face and hear his little voice. While that in no way replaces the warmth of a hug or the comfort of butterfly kisses, I hope it can offer you some relief from you motherly instincts to worry.

    Please thank your son from me for his service to our country, and know that my heart goes out to you. Chin up, young person.

    • Awwww.. thank you so much Alycia. I’ve been wanting to vent but felt (perhaps nobody would listen) but you’ve just shown me comfort in it. I sincerely appreciate you. He returned to the states yesterday safely and called me (as soon as he landed)..that made me feel so much better. He’s not home yet, but hopefully soon I’ll get to see him. I will pass your thanks on to him.

    • Good morning Ginene, thank God, yes, he made it back to the states safely yesterday.. but he’s not home..I’ve been feeling emotional about his deployment for months. Thanks for listening to me vent..

      • Both times I read your post, my eyes filled with tears. I am absolutely filled with joy that your boy is back on U.S. ground and is coming home to you. I can only imagine what all the hours and days and weeks and months have been like for you with him in the service, at this time, and far away from home. Oh….my gosh.
        But you should have written about it earlier!
        Men are men and women are women. I remember reading a book about how lonely pioneer women were, out on the prairies, even though they had husbands. It was a big deal when a woman got an opportunity to see another woman.There are times when we need other”womenfolk”.
        Please let us know when he gets home, we’ll be wiping our eyes and doing a happy dance for you.
        -Ginene

      • Cuz you are a very good and loving mommy. Cry if you want, some are tears of Joy…. thank God for the love you too share. Its a Blessing!

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