There’s no magic wand to wave or potion to drink to help ease the heartfelt pain of losing a love one, but dealing with the fact of losing my mother has my life feeling like I’m in a haze.  Ever since I wrote about her health and how she made a complete recovery, it was nothing shy of a miracle as we watched her continuing to enjoy life.   Thank you again for the prayers, love and care you expressed during that time.  But here I am again, with a heavy heart to (attempt to) express my thoughts.  After recovering from the heart attacks, and believing she was headed to a life filled with more joy only to be faced with dealing with the onset of dementia.  Over the years we’ve made more memories and stories to tell, but how I wish I could have back the times of chuckling with her, dancing with her and hearing her voice call me (after she’s ran through the rest of my sibling names, lol)  but I know we’ve all done that before.

I honestly can’t find the words to write on dealing with my emotions, but I can find the words on how I dealt with the pain.  I dealt with the pain by cleaning.. cleaning her home to be exact.  After her 2nd heart attack she wasn’t able to do the same house work as she’s done all her life (which is understandable) but we couldn’t convince her otherwise.  In her mind, she could still do it all.  Yes, she’s our superwoman, but the super part which would make her feel like a spring chicken wasn’t there.  So to not upset HER, we’d leave well enough alone.  Now, to handle the emotions that are feeling like a combustion in my mind, I decided I need to clean and do what I’ve wanted to do in her house for a while now (only she wouldn’t let me/us)..RESTYLE IT.

My mother took pride in cleaning her home and it’s only natural for me to give her comfort in knowing her home will be clean (even though she really won’t know).  So after washing windows & woodworks, sweeping and plenty dusting, I realized it’s time to reorganize, slim down and re-arrange some things.  Mom was one to believe that every picture you gave her had to go in a frame and be displayed in the house.  She loved her family and seeing their pictures around gave her joy (but it was really beginning to look like disorganized clutter).  Since the living room was one of her most favorites, I decided to start there.  A while back, I featured her home on the blog in this post, and even then I thought the layout was a bit off but she liked and it stayed that way.  Here is the angle it’s been for years,

Not bad, but I figured it closed in the room quite a bit.

Flashback to approximately 4 years ago it was time to upgrade the window treatments and she wanted her chairs reupholstered – yay-yay.. So we went fabric shopping and picked out new fabrics (another one of our past-time loves).  After they were done, of course she kept the same layout.  Like I stated, I NEEDED TO feel helpful through dealing with her transition. I needed to have a sense of purpose in her home, and I needed to feel like I’m doing something for her that would please her.   I had a new area rug that I was not using and decided to put it to use in her home.  Working with what she already had, I rearranged her living room.  Her style was more classic and these were the custom treatments made from the fabric we chose.  The coffee table, which became completely filled with pictures in frames, downsized in quantity.  She loved having candy dishes around and of course they were always filled, but three on one table was a bit too much.   The sofa was moved in front of the rear window to open the space, and the pair of chairs were placed under the front window next to each other.  By making that simple placement, it completely opened the space.

I was happy to see how the colors in the area rug really blended with her sofa.. (I kid you not – this was not planned).  Although it bumped with the chairs a bit, all in all it worked.

Removing some of the framed pictures and grouping others in 3s helped create a visual balanced look.

This is a complete view when you enter her front door, which is very welcoming.  The ottoman (which was given a new look with fabric on sale) is placed at the front door for comfort seating when removing shoes.

Like me, she loves music, so I positioned the music on this side of the room instead of far in the foyer area (which decreased the speaker wire stretch)  note to self.. the mantle will need a bit more tweaking.

A home doesn’t always have to be styled like a designer showcase with high end pieces but it’s a simple reflection of what a person likes.  When mom and I created her look I truly based items on what pleased her and then built on her taste.

I like how she started her wall gallery here, however, it needed a few more pictures to complete the look.  I added just a few more on the wall and also on the console table.

For her dining room, I just shifted the small art deco buffet to this side of the room because behind the head chair was a bit cramped

Mom’s house is humble but yet a total reflection of her personality.  All I did was switch some pieces around and it has a fresh new look.

I chose to believe God gave me the time to restyle her home while he meticulously created her wings.  It gave me time to accept losing her, while still having her.  Popping in every few minutes just to check on her, give her hugs, touch her hand, stroke her hair and feeling her presence was truly a mindful comfort.  Here are a couple of pictures of my mother with her infectious smile.  It was so contagious as it made you smile back at her.

This was the last time she had her hair colored and wasn’t too pleased with the new color, but I took this picture of her anyway because I loved it.

This was her last time coming to my home for breakfast (oh how I enjoyed her company)

This was her last visit to sit on her front porch  on 9/9/22… she loved sitting there listening to music waving at the passersby.

Two days later she began her transition.   I started this post at the onset of her transition which was on 9/11 and couldn’t finish because her health spiraled quickly.

Update:   My mother has gained her wings and now she flies with the angels.

Creating this post in honor of my mother’s home/grandma’s house was simply to show you that HOME IS where mom lives.  No matter the style, things can be changed a bit without disrupting the integrity or style of the person who lives there.  I truly miss her already and would love to hear her opinion on “how’s this look” which was a favorite question to her.   All I can honestly believe is that she’d be satisfied.